The Right Way

a new poem

In April, I took a poetry workshop with the inimitable Alex Dimitrov, and it broke me open in important ways. It was about writing without giving a fuck. I have, of course, always given too many fucks about what people might think about my writing, to the detriment of my writing. I wrote some things that scared me - not because I felt I was saying too much or doing too much - but because they might radically change the way my readers, who are largely friends and family, perceive me.

I’m not really interested in that perception anymore. As my deeply intelligent friend, Natasha, aka Theory Gang, told me (when I called her sobbing because I wrote a poem that disturbed me and others, and does that make me bad, and should I quit this class?), other people’s perception of you is none of your business. Keep writing.

I used to really try to explain my poems, either with a preface or inside the poem itself, which isn’t the point of a poem. I don’t need to tack its pieces to a board and label them like a brittle butterfly.

My job is to be a poet. My job is to tell the truth. This writing shit, it’s a kind of alchemy. I’ll be sharing some of the poems from that workshop - some of my strongest work.

I’m just a little tornado in the sunshine

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The Right Way

When I finally became myself
I went out into the heat 
and planted globe amaranths
You had just informed me that
I don’t love God the right way
not the way that would allow you
to love me
They look like strawberries, you know?
The amaranths
Their studded red flowers 
and curling stalks 
It’s funny cause 
God and me dug in the hot earth 
together that evening
as we often do
I told him how earlier
I’d cut the anthers from the stamens 
Of my white lilies 
They stain!
Gardenguides.com says it’s no big deal
But I felt awful and
I said to God
We hurt each other, don’t we 
and God didn’t say anything 
but he stayed right there with me 
Even as the lilies stared
with their empty sockets 
and I couldn’t close their eyes